:: p-dog ::

I'm sitting in the Presidential Suite in the Crowne Plaza, Foster City. Have I ever been in a Presidential Suite before? I don't think so. It's sort of a let-down--like a small, badly decorated apartment. One of the perks of helping to plan the week of pre-induction for the incoming Bay Area teachers. So far it's been a strange mix of hectic work (dashing around to execute all our plans smoothly), nostalgia (I swear we were *just here*), and exchanging rueful smiles (my god, they have no idea what they're in for). The best part about it, though, is that it's making my summer feel much longer than it has seemed so far. These kids haven't even started summer training yet! It's forever until they (and I) start teaching this fall.

I left a mellow week in Dallas to jump right back into things here. Dallas was wonderful. I ate twice from each of the restaurants, had a slumber party with Amy and Clare, saw at least a few old high school friends, cuddled with Murphy (Murphy!), got a sewing lesson, had my eyes lasered (they're fine), spent a night at the mini-ranch (Caledonia?), got a boat ride, greeted the cows (Bob!), bonded with family, and spent prolonged periods of time on the couch. Who could ask for more? Bryan had only one minor hilarious mishap in my absence (at least I could have prevented the toothpaste part).

I've got to go shopping for tonight's beach dinner--good times. I'll try to post soon with updates, but my life is gloriously boring right now. I'm getting a massage next week...

:: Leslie H - 12:24 PM - ::

I like this article about Bush and labels from the New York Times. Very rational. Anyone seen Fahrenheit 9/11 yet?

Calling Bush a Liar
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

Published: June 30, 2004

Is President Bush a liar?

Plenty of Americans think so. Bookshops are filled with titles about Mr. Bush like "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them," "Big Lies," "Thieves in High Places" and "The Lies of George W. Bush."

A consensus is emerging on the left that Mr. Bush is fundamentally dishonest, perhaps even evil — a nut, yes, but mostly a liar and a schemer. That view is at the heart of Michael Moore's scathing new documentary, "Fahrenheit 9/11."

In the 1990's, nothing made conservatives look more petty and simple-minded than their demonization of Bill and Hillary Clinton, who were even accused of spending their spare time killing Vince Foster and others. Mr. Clinton, in other words, left the right wing addled. Now Mr. Bush is doing the same to the left. For example, Mr. Moore hints that the real reason Mr. Bush invaded Afghanistan was to give his cronies a chance to profit by building an oil pipeline there.

"I'm just raising what I think is a legitimate question," Mr. Moore told me, a touch defensively, adding, "I'm just posing a question."

Right. And right-wing nuts were "just posing a question" about whether Mr. Clinton was a serial killer.

I'm against the "liar" label for two reasons. First, it further polarizes the political cesspool, and this polarization is making America increasingly difficult to govern. Second, insults and rage impede understanding.

Lefties have been asking me whether Mr. Bush has already captured Osama bin Laden, and whether Mr. Bush will plant W.M.D. in Iraq. Those are the questions of a conspiracy theorist, for even if officials wanted to pull such stunts, they would be daunted by the fear of leaks.

Bob Woodward's latest book underscores that Mr. Bush actually believed that Saddam did have W.M.D. After one briefing, Mr. Bush turned to George Tenet and protested, "I've been told all this intelligence about having W.M.D., and this is the best we've got?" The same book also reports that Mr. Bush told Mr. Tenet several times, "Make sure no one stretches to make our case."

In fact, of course, Mr. Bush did stretch the truth. The run-up to Iraq was all about exaggerations, but not flat-out lies. Indeed, there's some evidence that Mr. Bush carefully avoids the most blatant lies — witness his meticulous descriptions of the periods in which he did not use illegal drugs.

True, Mr. Bush boasted that he doesn't normally read newspaper articles, when his wife said he does. And Mr. Bush wrongly claimed that he was watching on television on the morning of 9/11 as the first airplane hit the World Trade Center. But considering the odd things the president often says ("I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family"), Mr. Bush always has available a prima facie defense of confusion.

Mr. Bush's central problem is not that he was lying about Iraq, but that he was overzealous and self-deluded. He surrounded himself with like-minded ideologues, and they all told one another that Saddam was a mortal threat to us. They deceived themselves along with the public — a more common problem in government than flat-out lying.

Some Democrats, like Mr. Clinton and Senator Joseph Lieberman, have pushed back against the impulse to demonize Mr. Bush. I salute them, for there are so many legitimate criticisms we can (and should) make about this president that we don't need to get into kindergarten epithets.

But the rush to sling mud is gaining momentum, and "Fahrenheit 9/11" marks the polarization of yet another form of media. One medium after another has found it profitable to turn from information to entertainment, from nuance to table-thumping.

Talk radio pioneered this strategy, then cable television. Political books have lately become as subtle as professional wrestling, and the Internet is adding to the polarization. Now, with the economic success of "Fahrenheit 9/11," look for more documentaries that shriek rather than explain.

It wasn't surprising when the right foamed at the mouth during the Clinton years, for conservatives have always been quick to detect evil empires. But liberals love subtlety and describe the world in a palette of grays — yet many have now dropped all nuance about this president.

Mr. Bush got us into a mess by overdosing on moral clarity and self-righteousness, and embracing conspiracy theories of like-minded zealots. How sad that many liberals now seem intent on making the same mistakes.  

:: Leslie H - 12:21 PM - ::

I can see!

Well, no, actually, I can't see, not perfectly at any rate. But the doctor assures me that when I wake up tomorrow I'll see like a champion. And I didn't freak out or faint during surgery. And I got some snazzy sun-goggles (free with $3,000 purchase).

:: Leslie H - 8:36 PM - ::

Yay for Teach for America. Given my policy background, it's no surprise that during training last summer, I asked various TFA people if there had ever been a credible study done on how TFA teachers stack up against regular teachers. For all the talk of "significant gains," is there any evidence that the students in TFA classrooms actually make more progress--or even as much progress--as other students? And, just now, there is. A few weeks ago, an independent study compared TFA teachers to other novice and veteran teachers across the country, and found that they do as well or better than other teachers at math and reading, even when compared only to veteran teachers.

For some reason, it makes me feel very good to have some sort of backup for the sense I have that TFA is a valuable organization. While I know without a doubt that TFA teachers I've witnessed do amazing things in their classrooms, it's hard to argue that effectively with no real evidence. And it's easy to feel bad about the commitment that lasts only two years, and my own shortcomings as a teacher this year.

Of course, it's just one study--far from the last word. But at least it's something. And as a preliminary judgment, it looks pretty good.

An editorial from yesterday's LA Times:

<< The pencil-pushers can talk all they want about "highly qualified" teachers and full credentials. Parents and children know better. There's a personal magic about great teaching, and no conclusive evidence that an education degree equals classroom wizardry. So, in a way, the results of a recent study on teachers weren't really surprising. Researchers at a New Jersey think tank looked at the young people who have joined Teach for America, an AmeriCorps program that recruits bright graduates from competitive colleges to teach in low-performing rural and inner-city schools. They attend a summer boot camp for new teachers, promising to stay in their schools for two years. They also concurrently take courses toward a teaching credential. In exchange, they get the same salary as a beginning teacher and close to $5,000 a year in grants to help with education costs.

They don't have a teaching certificate, a major in education or professional experience. Yet, the study found, they out-taught the traditional teachers at their schools, with their students doing about the same in reading but making significantly greater gains in math, as measured on standardized tests. They did better than the novice teachers, better than the experienced teachers and better than the teachers with credentials.

So much for the criticism that the 15-year-old Teach for America program puts even less-qualified teachers in the schools where great teachers are most needed. Yes, these young teachers tend to say at the beginning that they're staying for only two years, while traditionally trained novices say they're in it for a lifetime. Truth is, about half of the new teachers leave the profession within five years, while Teach for America recruits usually feel pulled into their jobs. In the end, both groups are about equally likely to stick with it.

A teaching degree clearly isn't the only or even the best way to create an accomplished and committed teacher. The recruits of Teach for America bring instead an essential brightness and solid academic background -- they must have achieved a 3.5 grade point average at a competitive college -- and an excitement about their mission. They receive enough practical training to get started, and continued help throughout the academic year. Private schools have relied on this formula for years; why is the public arena so slow to see its value? >>

More details on the study itself:

Conducted by Mathematica Policy Research, Inc., the independent study concludes that Teach For America corps members:

- Make 10% more progress in a year in math than is typically expected, while slightly exceeding the normal expectation for progress in reading.  
- Attain greater gains in math and the same gains in reading compared to the other teachers in the study, even as compared only to certified teachers and to veteran teachers.
- Are working in the highest-need classrooms in the country.

From the study:
"Even though Teach For America teachers generally lack any formal teacher training beyond that provided by Teach For America, they produce higher test scores than the other teachers in their schools - not just other novice teachers or uncertified teachers, but also veterans and certified teachers." 
From an email TFA admin sent out:
To put the findings in broader context, the researchers make an analogy to the impact of reducing class size - an often-cited benchmark for assessing impacts on education performance. Corps members' impact on math achievement in comparison to the whole control group (including veteran teachers) is 65% of the impact of reducing class size from 23 to 15. (...)
Across the six sites in which the study was conducted, an average of 95% of the students qualify for free/reduced lunch, and the students hover around the 14th percentile on a national norm-referenced test when they arrive in teachers' classrooms.  

I've got a pdf of the study that I'll upload as soon as I'm back in Cali. Just in case anyone is super-bored. :)

:: Leslie H - 8:13 AM - ::

Someone needs to explain to me why Kill Bill 2 was a worthwhile movie. Because, just having spent $10 to see it on the strong recommendation of people whose opinions I respect, I am left at a bit of a loss. What I saw was: a plot stretched thin, mediocre action, baaaad acting (I did like the scenes with David Carradine), and 47,000 close-ups of Uma Thurman. Oh, and eyeball squishing. The highest praise we could muster was, "well, it was better than the first one."

:: Leslie H - 8:40 AM - ::

I'm at my second-to-last APEX class, the first ever where I have not been stressed out about teaching class in fewer than 12 hours. Of course I still have two (all of the) papers to write for this class by Wednesday, but that task pales, disappears, when compared to teaching. What I'm really concerned about is taking my car in for surgery. It's in desperate need of new brake pads (a non-threatening procedure), but its check-engine light has been lighting up sporadically (very daunting). I have a desperate fear of being ripped off, particularly when I have to go to the dealership for some undefined problem, where they're going to charge me almost $200 just to figure out what's wrong.

My time senses are all out of whack about this summer. I've been telling myself so often that it's going to fly by, that it's half the length of the summers I'm used to, that two months is *nothing*--so I'm mentally prepared to start teaching again in a couple of weeks. Minutes after the students left on Friday, we had a faculty meeting about the schedule, teaching assignments, and philosophy for next year. I'm sure it will sink in; I just don't quite believe yet that it's not another week-long break. (And how wrong is this? I already miss some of my students. I mean, you know, two of them.)

FYI, I will be in Dallas next week, from Sunday (20th) - Saturday. Aside from laser eye surgery, my schedule is flexible, and I would love to see anyone who may be around. Except Wednesday, when I will not be able to open my eyes. :)

It's 9:00 and *amazing* how much more energy I have when I haven't been teaching since 8:30 a.m. Well, not that amazing. Pretty predictable.

:: Leslie H - 9:47 PM - ::

So far, the last day of school has been oddly like every other day. Of course, we're on a different schedule, and my 1st period class just had free time, and my 3rd/4th period classes are all in the 8th grade breakfast, which I will be going to myself pretty shortly. But the events and the strange schedule have become routine already. Driving to school this morning was like any morning. NPR, barely missing green lights, the brown hills looming closer. Even the familiar twinge of nerves. (When I think of just how often my stomach has gurgled with anxiety this year, I wonder if teaching has actually taken years off my life...)

My room is utterly, utterly bare. The walls are even whiter than when I arrived, when they at least had some colored paper left from the last teacher. The desks are back in rows. I'm leaving a few things up until the end of the day--the things that have been on the board since I set up my classroom in August: the "agenda," "objective," and "homework" signs. The class points on the whiteboard. Taking those down will be my closure. But over the rest of the room, winter has fallen. White walls and a bare vocabulary tree.

I got one card so far from Mary Jo, my African American girl who gave me such grief (but mostly such attitude) the first week of school. It reads: "To: Miss Hall Thanx for puttin up with me Have a great summer!!!" I may not have taught her how to write complete sentences, but it is when I think about those students, mostly girls, who I sort of won over, I feel the best about the year. Lisa, who I sent to the office for cussing at me the first day of school. Selena--we bonded during her first detention--who spent afternoons in my class drawing me pictures and writing stories for the library. Lilly, who discovered she loved to write. Regina, who returned to my class after months of suspension and got straight As. Most of them are from 1st period. Next year, I am almost certain I will not teach the at-risk program. While happy to be free from that responsibility, I wonder if I will find relationships equally rewarding with students who don't demand so much from me.

So I will leave today, just like any other day. Shouldering my "Hall" bag, taking off my Fischer lanyard, hoping my car has not been egged or keyed. I expect it will hit me that school is over by the end of next week. I am already nervous about next year.

:: Leslie H - 9:48 AM - ::

But seriously, tomorrow, at 1:16 (that's 3:16 CST), drink a beer for me cause I am frickin FINISHED.

:: Leslie H - 9:20 PM - ::

Graduation today! Suffice to say, it was short, sweet, filled with balloons, and all the students and I were grinning until our faces hurt. I was stationed at the bottom of the stairs where they left the stage, thus getting to force hugs out of a dozen or so of my students, and handshakes out of everyone in my classes. I just loved watching them trod carefully down the stairs with giant smiles. Good times had by all. Plus, I walked arm-in-arm with Bryan by the crowd of assembled 8th graders, to a chorus of "Ms. Hall, is that your boyfriend?!" So now they've seen me dance; they've seen my boyfriend; I have no secrets left. Best that they go on and graduate.


Here's Anneliese and I. She's the girl who tells me everything. (More pictures up on gallery.)

And in other news, I was able to wrangle a laser surgery appointment for the week I'm in Dallas! Since you're not supposed to wear them for 2 weeks before the operation, today was my last day EVER in contacts. Kind of crazy.

:: Leslie H - 9:33 PM - ::

And in the spirit of graduation ceremonies, one of which I will attend tomorrow and "hand students off the stage," read this. Jon Stewart's recent speech at William and Mary's commencement. It's funny as hell; unfortunately my outloud laughter was inappropriate in my credential class. I'd slip it to tomorrow night's speaker if I thought my kids would understand it.

"Lets talk about the real world for a moment...I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it."

:: Leslie H - 5:49 PM - ::

The real surprise of the 8th grade dance was what waited for me at home. I thought Bryan's phone calls urging me back were a little excessive--he was making dinner with jeff and phil and george, newly arrived for the summer. But lo and behold, whose pigtails were bobbing in the kitchen when I walked in? Clare! Her mysterious blog hiatus was explained. She had accompanied George on his cross country trip and dropped in on us for a surprise weekend. Much fun was had by all.

The downside of surprise visits, though, are that you don't clear your schedule ahead of time. We went to see Harry Potter 3 with Clare and George, but I spent most of Saturday laying out our class newspaper (the 7th grade final project), and at the end-of-the-year TFA event in Emeryville.

Still, George will be around all summer, and Clare might come spend a day with me while I'm in Dallas.

Have I mentioned that this is the best 3rd period ever? My whole class is in the cafeteria rehearsing for graduation.

:: Leslie H - 10:34 AM - ::

I stumble on, still blinking in disbelief that this year is still happening. I just lesson planned for next week. It involves a lot of nothing--basically, showing movies to the handful of 8th graders not going on the various field trips. Disassembly of my room continues. Graduation is Tuesday night, and I'm approx. 20 times more excited for it than for any of my own ceremonies. Perhaps because my graduations were foregone conclusions, while this one represents a real struggle and a real achievement for a lot of my students. Plus, once they have that ceremony, they can't come back next year!

The 8th grade dance on Friday was a hoot. After packing my classroom for 3 hours, I emerged sweaty and dusty for chaperoning duty, wondering how early I could legitimately cut out. It began with one of my favorite, sweetest kids (David, pictured below) waiting for his date in front of the school. (Don't ever buy that crap about teachers not having favorites.) All coiffed and stylish--even a tie--and a short-stemmed orange rose getting slightly damp behind his back. I watched him covertly for half an hour, feeling betrayed on his behalf that this girl would make him wait! By the time she arrived, four of us teachers were trying to hide that we were watching, and cheering quietly on the sidelines.

I loved seeing my students all dolled up, even though many didn't come (most no-shows lost the privilege due to discipline issues--another price of teaching the at-risk kids.) Outfit of the night went to Rosendo, a cute kid who always looks perplexed. He was in all white, sneakers to shirt. White pants, belted at mid-butt, white boxers, white sleeveless undershirt pulled low, crisp white t-shirt on top, which later in the night he took mostly off, wearing it like a collar. All he needed were heavy gold chains.

The dance began as all middle school dances do: loud music, semi-darkness, and a dozen girls gyrating in a clump. Despite encouragements from the DJ, every boy in the place stayed slouched in his chair at the tables that ringed the floor. We were in the cafeteria, Fischer's only large enclosed space, that serves as eatery, auditorium, occasional gym, and dance venue. The music that shook our chests was the current Hip Hop Top 40, which covered topics ranging from blow jobs to, well, no, they were pretty much all about blow jobs. Profanity muted out, of course, but we all knew the words we didn't hear.

We chaperones clustered around one table, sipping sodas and watching bemused as our female students humped the air. Always leading my double life, I debated between reprimanding them and joining them.

Three of my girls made the decision for me, however, when they swarmed over and launched me out of my seat. I was briefly the life of the party, dancing the sweaty center of the floor. After a few minutes, I demurely returned to the teachers' table. I joked with my colleagues about my performance, but I could tell they were a little jealous.

I danced again several times, and by the end, even the other teachers were grooving a little on the edges.

Casualties: tripping a breaker (2), one relationship (that I know of, after a very handsy dance with another girl), most of the guys' overshirts, my dignity. But hey, school's out Friday.

:: Leslie H - 5:20 PM - ::

I'm chaperoning the 8th grade dinner/dance tonight (a volunteer job, which I'm wondering if I'll regret. I am tired with the cumulative exhaustion of the year). It starts at 5:30, and I'm using the 3 hours between to organize my classroom. With bare white walls, rolled up posters, and open closet doors, it's looking a lot like the pictures from August. Ms. Hall, getting ready, hanging up a few things, no idea what she's in for.

Now that I've started I'm fighting the urge to just take down everything. But my students don't need a barren room to confirm once again that the last week is not really school. So I'm leaving up some big, colorful posters and the class library.

I just want to lie down and sleep for 4 days.

:: Leslie H - 4:44 PM - ::

My unbelievable desire for the year to end is beginning to war with nostalgia. How is it that I can be so stressed out and often unhappy, and yet already looking back fondly at this year? Well, I'm not looking back fondly yet, but I know that as soon as I get some distance between me and Room 55, nostalgia will take off.

For now, though, 5th period is enough to beat me out of it.

In one week...

:: Leslie H - 10:19 AM - ::